216-409-7176 Call me.

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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