Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Bark I'm a tree

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Life

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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