Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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can you touch your toes? no

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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