Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats 1+1? window!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops