A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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girls basketball

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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