What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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69

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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