What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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