Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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