A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Worms don't like apples.

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240

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69

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Okay, after this one then...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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women's rights.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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