Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops