Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I had a really great joke to tell you!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops