Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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