Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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