A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

Potato!

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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