Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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