-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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