So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +21

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops