What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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a man died

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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