Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Gangnam style

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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