There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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WHAT????

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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Your mom.

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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