A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops