A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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People with cancer.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Oh...okay, good.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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