What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Communism

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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Paper shield.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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your so fat. your fat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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