What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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