Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

Johan showering. . . AWK

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

What's big and purple? Barney

When life throws you lemons, duck.

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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