Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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