Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

do you wanna hear a joke school

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +17

matt is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops