What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

What just hit my face? The floor

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

I said I hate niiggers

Golf.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

Samantha

Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

5

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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