A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -25

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a white kid named Tyrone.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops