What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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bob saget

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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This one sucks!

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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My children are mistakes

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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