A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Muslim athletes.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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