Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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