what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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