What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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