What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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a seal walks into a club.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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