What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

Women's rights.

William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

what did the old lady die of old age...

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's rights.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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