Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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