why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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