What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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NEVER

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops