I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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