What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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