You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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