Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Why? Why not?

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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