why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

Why do black people suck? Because they're black

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

what is red and smells like paint red paint

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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