roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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