why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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