You know whats better than 24? 25

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CAVE JOHNSON.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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