Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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balls in ya mouf

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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