Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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