A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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187

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and have a conversation and eventually they leave.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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