What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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i hate you.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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