b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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NEVER

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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