How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Women's Rights

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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PENIS

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops