A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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penis

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Women's rights.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops