Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Vaginal secretions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What time is it? 12:03 AM

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Pope

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops