Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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