A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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