How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock who's there me i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops